Midsummer

This is midsummer weekend. Sunday night to be exactly precise. It was nice for everyone. We, the bears in the house decided that we should experience the midsummer weekend in the appropriate Finnish way. Although we haven’t managed to leave town as by the time Ted came up with the idea all public transportation across Scandinavia seized to operate and we don’t own a car: we stayed.

There was no problem however because luckily Jen, Gabor and Lili spent most of Saturday at a friend’s in town. Our Finnish celebration didn’t cause problems for them. We started on wine than moved on to Whisky which we stole from Gabor’s stash that he got from a friend who have left town for somewhere sunnier. He doesn’t drink it anyway. It was very relaxed actually. I suppose Moses and Theodor Junior aren’t the kind of bears anymore who are totally up for great wild parties.

We talked a lot sipping away on our drinks and slipping away from our cognitive abilities. Lot of talk on shamanic practices, the neo-pagan movement, which by the way most bears have a low opinion on and somehow we even got into politics. I lost track of topics and arguments after a while. In fact I lost track of pretty much everything after a while and by the time our humans were home we were out. Completely out.



We spent the day, the hangover sitting on the windowsill chilling, looking out and trying not to move. Head still hurts a bit.

We planning on staying up tonight and have some other kind of celebration. This I believe is more appropriate considering tonight is the shortest night anyway. One thing I don’t understand however and that is the general name in many countries, especially ones with an appropriate Catholic history. Even Finland calls midsummer something like St John the Baptist day (Johannus). We have been speculating about this but haven’t come up with anything useful. I think. Moses maybe has had some great ideas but we forgotten most of them. Can only recall everyone going ‘oh yeah!’ and ‘AHA’ when he explained. Oh well.


An advice to all is to take celebrations without overindulging in anything. A beer for a bear is enough.

Learning

It was a smashingly interesting day yesterday. Well, not only yesterday but that is the first thing in my head right now. I went to work with Gabor. He took me around for the day and I got to learn all about cleaning. It was fascinating. Although having the day to think about the experience I realise that I am lucky that I don’t have to go to work with him or just go to work myself even every day. Cleaning saunas, stairs and laundry rooms day after day probably is boring. I understand now why he is so so keen on his upcoming holiday and why he is so much looking forward to start at uni. Both will be welcome changes from his work. Especially that he hasn’t chosen cleaning as his career. It’s just a way to make ends meet. I wonder though if there is anyone in the world who being a child dreams of becoming a cleaner? Probably not.

I started reading an interesting book; it’s called 9 to 5 Shaman. I know some about shamanism since Gabor told me that along with Moses and Ted I do have a shamanic role. He hasn’t specified this as yet to me and I think I am starting to understand why. He is expecting me to ask questions on the topic or generally on anything that I am interested in. He will teach whatever is needed and whatever he can as long as there is listening intent. There is plenty of interest on bears’ role in the family from my side but he is holding back telling me about it. I think maybe he would think first I should find things out for myself. I’m fine with that for now.

This book however that I started on troubles me a bit to begin with. I picked it up because all other books on the topic are used by either Jen or Gabor now and whenever I get the chance to get to the computer I need to check up on my facebook account so I don’t have the chance to research on the net. Anyway, so far my understanding is that shamanic thinking, world view is a rather practical one and this book – by the title – at first seemed to be an even more practical explanation but then the author keeps telling about, referring to some great spirit or god type character. I find it odd. I suspect she is some sort of neo-pagan and that’s why even writing a practical guide to urban shamanic practice she refers so much to something that is actually irrelevant to the topic. Oh well.

But it is time I write about arriving to Oulu where I reside with my human family.

We all knew that this final stretch of the journey in the truck was fairly short in comparison to the two journeys on boat coming to Finland yet it still felt infinitely long. We were nearly there, nearly and much nervous talk and joking lingered in the air yet they didn’t make time fly any quicker.

After some long time that felt like 3 or 4 separate eternities but at least hundreds of eons something happened. Recalling the event I believe that our truck must have just narrowly avoided a road accident. Our box fell down and got even more bashed and torn. I fell out and ended up lying close, too close to the door. I haven’t realised yet that I can make use of my arms and legs so I just lay there motionless very, very concerned.

In a little while the truck stopped and the driver came to the back. Opening the door he carefully examined the thrown about boxes, probably swore some under his nose but my Finnish fortunately isn’t good enough to know for sure and he slammed the door shut. We listened to his steps quieting as he moved to the front, the driver’s door opening and shut again. We started moving and the door swung open! As we turned back on to the road I rolled towards the opening and at the first bump I rolled out form the carriage and would have fallen on the ground but some instinct helped me to catch after something, anything.

I managed but couldn’t hold on and slid down. I fell again and caught on to another part of the vehicle much closer to the road and the wheels now. I was too far from the door to climb back. Within a minute we stopped again, at this time on the side of the road instead of a service station. The driver quickly closed the door where I fell out, he didn’t hear my shouting because of the oncoming traffic. I didn’t know how much longer before Oulu and I didn’t know if my arms could hold till we get there. I’ve started crying.

The truth about babies

Our container has been shipped to a redistribution centre somewhere around Helsinki. It was opened and our boxes begun to be moved onto trucks to head towards shops all around the country. Our box was dropped and cracked open, it was unnerving. I felt I begun slowly sliding out from my box an became extremely concerned that I would get lost or damaged in transport and never get to a shop, never to be bought by a family with little babies...

I didn’t know at the time that one day I could be happy should such an opportunity arise. I know now that 24/7 baby care is not something that I would be happy to do.
We have been visiting again little Alma and her family on Friday. The day Gabor stayed home because the dentist decided his wisdom tooth must be removed. I went with Lili and Jen instead of staying home. He was going to watch some crazy TV show dosed up on painkillers. Didn’t seem like a particularly fun evening for me so I acted as if I had been pressured into going and happily jumped into the bag with Ted and Moses.

Babies are fun. And I have written about how nice it is to hang out with them. But it is also nice not having to hang out with them all the time! Maybe I am too young for such things. I can picture how Ted after spending many years exploring Spain, writing books full of ethnographic recounts on rural life may have been happy to be picked up by a three years old girl just to hang out and take it relatively easy for the years to follow. I understand Moses wanting to rest and help caring for Lili as a retirement option finishing his adventurous travels in South America and Siberia. I suspect a similar motive from Eirwen. I hear she has been working with a charity helping out polar bears. An ever more needed work these days.

I am not quite ready for giving up a lifestyle, a career and all for a baby when I haven’t had enough experience myself. How could I possibly teach him anything anyway? And how much work it would take! 24/7! Can you imagine? I think I am too young for such. I like my life better now. Hanging out with the oldies and this family, just sort of being part of everything a little bit but never having to watch over someone overnight, never having to do the dishes... I prefer it that way. Of course, it took me these last couple of months to realise this and I would like to thank you all who helped me to it. I still remember too clearly the moments coming into Oulu. Disappointment and exasperation.

At the ‘gate’ of Europe

By the time the ship was manoeuvring through the English Channel talk got around that our destination is Hamburg, Germany. A more important information was released somewhere in the back of the container as well, it seems that some were very well informed for they knew that we all were toys and would be given to children as presents. We bears eventually received some special attention while more information about our faith was revealed.

Bears, it was said are special toy for kids. Every child in Europe has a special bear from birth and while some bears meet their child in curious circumstances many or maybe even most get one from a toy shop. We were all going to toy shops to be sold and given to kids. Excited talks begun about the kind of child, family bears wanted to be in.

Many were hoping for a wealthy or upper middle class family in afluential neighbourhood with a nice garden and well trained children. Others were hoping for a child from a working class neighbourhood who would value his bear forever. I thought both groups were over idealizing the potentials of reality while occasionally subtly hinting about it in public. But secretly I just hoped to find a home where I can be happy and loved. At the time I wasn’t aware of the moments of horror that I still have had ahead of me before meeting my family. And none of us was aware that Hamburg wasn’t our destination but a hub only where our container rested for a few days before moved on towards Helsinki.

Sleepover

I have had a wonderful weekend! A most wonderful for that. I wanted to write about it before but I rarely get to the computer over the weekends, even if Gabor spends much of it painting Lili’s room. Anyway, Moses mentioned I should enjoy, I should really enjoy hanging out with Jen’s tummy for my time will be up. The coming baby will be assigned to another bear. So I do enjoy every moment while in my adventures around the house and Oulu I’ve learnt a wonderful truth: It doesn’t matter if one has his own child to take care of, to comfort and to be torn apart by because one can always meet new faces and become a momentary bear for anyone.

Lili went on a sleepover on Friday night, her mum and dad went to the theatre. Lili decided that I could go with her. It was very kind. Very, very kind. Alma is only about 10 months old, she isn’t quite the toddler yet and she thought it was cool to have me around. She even sucked a bit on my ear and nearly tore of my left arm. It was – and I can only find that same word again – Wonderful. I had tears in my eyes. Sort of. And my arm is ok now as well, Theodor knows a bit about chiropractics and sorted things out.

I also met one of my readers, Alma’s mother. She was happy to meet me and I appreciate the encouragement: write on! I can only ask you and others in return: read on!

About a month or so ago Jen and Gabor became suspicious that there is more than one child inside her tummy. They suspected that on the midwife’s ideas that Jen’s belly is growing faster or bigger than it should be. I didn’t mention about it before because I didn’t want things to get out of hand. There was an element of hope for me you know. They were joking a lot about having twins, lots of crazy and idiotic jokes warming themselves to such possibility but it was all unfounded. An ultrasound last Friday showed that there is only one. A big one though but one. This has crashed my secret hopes but as I worked hard not to get my expectations high I can handle it I think.

Should they have twins, I could become a baby’s bear... Well, I got Gabor instead but Jen jokingly assured me he is good as a child. However I sensed an element of certainty in her voice.