The truth about babies

Our container has been shipped to a redistribution centre somewhere around Helsinki. It was opened and our boxes begun to be moved onto trucks to head towards shops all around the country. Our box was dropped and cracked open, it was unnerving. I felt I begun slowly sliding out from my box an became extremely concerned that I would get lost or damaged in transport and never get to a shop, never to be bought by a family with little babies...

I didn’t know at the time that one day I could be happy should such an opportunity arise. I know now that 24/7 baby care is not something that I would be happy to do.
We have been visiting again little Alma and her family on Friday. The day Gabor stayed home because the dentist decided his wisdom tooth must be removed. I went with Lili and Jen instead of staying home. He was going to watch some crazy TV show dosed up on painkillers. Didn’t seem like a particularly fun evening for me so I acted as if I had been pressured into going and happily jumped into the bag with Ted and Moses.

Babies are fun. And I have written about how nice it is to hang out with them. But it is also nice not having to hang out with them all the time! Maybe I am too young for such things. I can picture how Ted after spending many years exploring Spain, writing books full of ethnographic recounts on rural life may have been happy to be picked up by a three years old girl just to hang out and take it relatively easy for the years to follow. I understand Moses wanting to rest and help caring for Lili as a retirement option finishing his adventurous travels in South America and Siberia. I suspect a similar motive from Eirwen. I hear she has been working with a charity helping out polar bears. An ever more needed work these days.

I am not quite ready for giving up a lifestyle, a career and all for a baby when I haven’t had enough experience myself. How could I possibly teach him anything anyway? And how much work it would take! 24/7! Can you imagine? I think I am too young for such. I like my life better now. Hanging out with the oldies and this family, just sort of being part of everything a little bit but never having to watch over someone overnight, never having to do the dishes... I prefer it that way. Of course, it took me these last couple of months to realise this and I would like to thank you all who helped me to it. I still remember too clearly the moments coming into Oulu. Disappointment and exasperation.