Prisoners in the Woods

Waiting is holding us still; Eirwen long ago has taken herself out of matters of daily concern. To be sure, she is camping in the ‘going to the hospital bag’. She is not keen on missing the event. So we haven’t seen her much recently and so far she hasn’t become part of our daily lives. It’s a shame but I think it shows a serious degree of dedication to her ‘job’. She will want to start her life in the house as the baby-bear as opposed to ‘one of the bears’, like us, who happened to be around at the time. Valid point.

And what all this have to do with woods and prisoners? Well, nothing at all really. Nothing at all. If anything... I could say that while we wait members of the house get up to all kind of activities to kill time. No, that’s not true, we do not do such rituals as killing the time although metaphysically speaking it could be an interesting idea but probably impossible to peruse. Have to do something with living in organised society, I think just from the top of my head. All in all we do get up to have a bit of good time while we are waiting for the newest little one to be born. That is, the list of waiters on the having an easy time as follows: Tobi, Lili, Moses, Theodor, Elena – she is back from Vietnam, Mafalda, Hava and Gabor. We do find lots of fun while waiting. Eirwen and Jen are different though. I mentioned about Eirwen already. Jen... hm, she is just busy I guess.

Gabor took me to the woods outside Oulu last weekend and although I haven’t been his prisoner in a sense I became one. It was like some sort of initiation for me. Without the dancing around the fire. But there was fire. I read extracts from my writings to a bunch of others who are also into words. They are the other prisoners. Of words. It was pretty fun and I am sure you will hear more of them. Or perhaps not. I am kind of a quiet partner in the group but I had to mention about this experience. I like being in the woods. Maybe it’s a quality of being a bear. But I am going to get back to working on my other story now. It’s about the time I came to Oulu. I started writing it on the blog but I never got to finish so now I would like to write it all down in one piece. That will be fun!

Tic Toc

Waiting

Gabor doesn’t let me on the computer much these days. I cannot blog like this. But finally he has come to his senses. A lot of things have happened in the last three weeks or so...

A couple of weeks back we had a fairly exciting time in the house although not everyone. Lili and Moses slept through it like babies probably still resting out our great adventure to the far south, to Helsinki. I started sleeping well and comfortably as cuddling up in my armchair. I mean in Gabor’s armchair. I woke because Jen was wondering about and she was being visibly uncomfortable. Almost like you would expect a woman to be when in labour, early stages. She told me to get back to sleep there is nothing to worry about, it was just tricky things happening but the baby wasn’t coming yet and she mysteriously added ‘perhaps someone else’.

Trying to sleep hard as I could I couldn’t. Neither could she which was no wonder to me, Tobi was seriously over excited literally bouncing of the walls while Lili snored so hard that I could hear the neighbours downstairs moaning about it. Gabor slept like a baby while I wondered what if Jen was wrong? What if this night...

She woke him up eventually and I wasn’t comfortably snuggling up any longer, for me it was more an edge of the seat drama by then. But nothing extraordinary happened. He did some of the hand placing healing he does for Lili when she has a cut or bruise and he went back to sleep. He tried but he was excited too. Eventually though they both managed to fall back to sleep while Tobi and I disappointed as we were decided to play a game of 16. We were only half way through when there was a gentle knocking on the door. I wouldn’t have noticed if not for Tobi. His ears are even better than bears’. Scary.

Stupid he can get or maybe the late hour he thought and to be honest had me convinced quickly it was the baby coming. I must have been tired after the excitement and the lack of sleep. It wasn’t the baby of course knocking on the door. Eirwen the bear. She is a cousin of Moses until recently living up north, very north but now retiring to take care of Lili’s little sibling. She arrived at last.

We quickly cast aside our board game and made a nice cup of tea to welcome her. But she just went to sleep on the chair in the hall before it was ready. Probably being tired after the long journey...

Next morning Gabor decided Erwin’s arrival was a sing and he insisted on starting to make up the bag to take to the hospital. That was some 2 weeks ago and we are still waiting. And hopefully I will be allowed to use the laptop more regularly from now on.

IKEA

The day started early, earlier than usual compared to being on holiday. We got up to get the car which would take us out of town, all the way to Sweden. It was a shopping trip day driving a borrowed car. I was concerned all the way that I wouldn’t make it to the car, that I would be left behind and when Lili said that no, she couldn’t be bothered to take any bears to Sweden my hear sunk. But it was Ok because Gabor smuggled us into his bag. There was just enough room in there for Moses, Ted, me and a wallet with some essential plastic cards in it.

Before all of us set out though he spent some time cruising around Oulu, getting the feeling of the car as he said and picking up some commodities. Buggy, Sawing machine, a cup of coffee.

We left eventually and after a long and tiresome 1.72 hour drive we arrived. Nobody is used to sit in cars anymore. Not in this family. I was ok, but you should have heard them all moaning. It was tiresome.

IKEA was exciting and the hot-dog tasted just the same as it does in Glasgow. Or so I was told. Rubbish yet magnificent. A few items however which were on the priority, the top of the shopping list were out of stock and we were advised to get back in a couple of days. Ha-ha.


On the way home I thought something was different. About the car. It’s inside felt fuller than before and it wasn’t due only to the shopping. I sensed something in the boot but couldn’t put my finger on it. I fell asleep and I slept for the rest of the journey dreaming of magnificent fierce firey dragons, ancient places and pits someplace Indochina, the Carpathian basin.

I woke hours later, it was already dark outside, I mean that twilight dim what we call dark these days around 00:30. I was petrified with fear for I have never seen a real dragon in my life and now I woke because there was one right there much closer than I would appreciate during a first encounter. It was licking my face. My nose and gently chewing on my arm. ‘Hello’ she stopped on noticing I was awake ‘I’m Hava. Pleased to meet you!’ and a small puff of smoke left its nostrils. I tried to sit up, moving a bit away when another monster landed just behind me its enormous claws only millimetres from my delicate ears. ‘I apologise for her manners’ he said in a friendly tone and added ‘BythewayIamTobi’ he added in a quick breath then sneezed turning away quickly, sending a small fireball towards the kitchen sink. It was skilfully spanned landing in the steel tub, harmless. ‘You must be Lenard, I’m pleased to meet you, this is my daughter, Hava.’

Birthday

There is something peculiar about birthdays. I have been to a couple and some more since I came to Oulu and while participating in fascination I always came to realise that I do not understand this ritual.

On Friday for instance, last week it was Jen’s turn to officially turn a year older. Although I cannot see she has ‘grow’ in anyway in that one day.

Gabor and Lili kindly woke her with yummy orange juice, breakfast and some small presents. Surprisingly there was no card involved which seemed odd to me only because card, greeting cards especially for birthday seem to be a European minimum for such days. After an easy morning everyone got ready, bag packed and we, we set out. I was most surprised to get in the bag but of course I didn’t object.

We cycled to the museum of modern arts downtown Oulu where we spent some time fascinated. Especially Lili who probably thought in every room at first that whatever was there was truly interesting. For about 25 seconds. By then Jen and Gabor caught up with us and we were bored of the exhibits so we started playing catch. I flew higher and higher towards the ceiling and apart from a couple of occasions Lili caught me with skill. Once or twice only she managed to poke my eye but fortunately they made of hard plastic.

Our fun lasted until the receptionist who apparently was spying on us came upstairs and stormed into the room. Our anticipation has ample time to rise while she reached us at the middle of the room. She had about 8 meters to cover. Which may not sound much to you but should you be only a foot tall it would look very different.

She had a problem with us having fun at the museum. She thinks people should not enjoy themselves at museums and anyway, kids should just ... or it seemed she said as I was reading between the lines. Gabor and Jen got upset and also stunned with the rudeness of the lady. And her stupidity. We left shortly and saying that I just realised I have been straying of the subject.

We had a picnic in the park. Gabor had the wonderful idea of crossing a stream using the stepping stones rather than the bridge. I stayed out of it, so did Jen and was the better for us. The other two got soaked. Lunch was nice and the birds were fairly polite. With a full tummy, and I mean full here, Jen decided that there would be nothing better than walking across town in the warm sunshine, being very really pregnant an’ all. There was a shop there which might have some fun stuff to sell. After walking so long of course we all felt obliged to buy something. And eventually it was wonderful to get home.

So there went the day and it was nice. Appreciating the importance of a person in one’s life, celebrating the life of that person and being happy for her. Noble gestures they are but doing so such while reminding the celebrant that ‘hehe, you are older now!!!’ I think is a bit cruel. Loose the numbers, the candles on the cake, the fixed date next time people and just throw a party or have a nice day with loved ones on any random day. I bet they would feel more special that way.

And one more thing! If you live in Oulu eat out at the Persian restaurant! I heard it is amazing!

In the Forest

Shortly after midsummer it was time for me to take off for a while. I decided that I am old enough and I think I was much inspired by all the other young learning peoples around Oulu. Buggering off for the summer. I left against all of Gabor’s recommendations. No matter how vividly he recounted me our first encounter... I thought and I still think I am a lucky bear, especially because of our meeting so I was sure, and I was sure rightly it would be just fine. I felt invincible!

Answering the calling of the wild I hopped off the train at Rollo, Rovaniemi on its official name, and hitched a ride with a friendly reindeer farmer further north into the wilderness. I spent the night in the barn and early morning set out to find them wild bears. Eventually I did and my joy was great but it came to a quick surprise. Wild bears at first are never so friendly as grumpy old Moses or Theodor Junior. In fact they gave me quite a harsh welcome. An ice cold one in fact as I quickly landed in the river.

Eventually I learnt to swim and becoming friends with Jaakko and Leonid – who is an illegal immigrant by the way so I am not using his real name here – at the end proved easier than expecting after their surprising welcome. They don’t have TV you know. In fact they don’t really have much of anything out there so sitting around our imaginary campfire in the evenings they listened endlessly to my stories from the south, from the amazing, great cosmopolitan metropolis by the name Oulu. Of course I must say that I may have gotten carried away and my recounts and description became a bit tall. I think at certain parts they begun to suspect but fortunately neither Leonid nor Jaakko cared much. It was a welcome change of scenery.

Maybe you should wonder about one thing; why imaginary campfire? But the explanation is simple. I am mostly made of slightly flammable and meltable fabric so I prefer not to handle fire as such. While bears in general are not so much into making campfires for usually they are not cold meanwhile this time of the year it doesn’t really get dark unless it’s really rainy. If cold Bears I think usually reach for a crude form of geothermal heating. Environmentalist from whom we shall learn much.

At the end I realised that I am who I am. A bear. An urban Bear who was not created for life in the wild. Simple as that and who helped me to learn that? Mosquitoes. Millions of them. Although I have not the blood to suck they tried and tried and tried and circled around my head till I had enough. One could ask if I feel defeated and I would have to admit that yes, I do. But one could ask also have I learnt anything from this trip about myself, my place or better said aspirations in this life and I would answer hell yeah! It was wonderful coming home, seeing those familiar places and telling the stories from the wild. Some gotten a bit more colourful I guess but they, Lili, Gabor, Jen and Itchy didn’t seem to mind. Moses is convinced that one day I will grow to be a great story teller. Maybe he is right. It will be for the benefit of you who are reading these lines.

Midsummer

This is midsummer weekend. Sunday night to be exactly precise. It was nice for everyone. We, the bears in the house decided that we should experience the midsummer weekend in the appropriate Finnish way. Although we haven’t managed to leave town as by the time Ted came up with the idea all public transportation across Scandinavia seized to operate and we don’t own a car: we stayed.

There was no problem however because luckily Jen, Gabor and Lili spent most of Saturday at a friend’s in town. Our Finnish celebration didn’t cause problems for them. We started on wine than moved on to Whisky which we stole from Gabor’s stash that he got from a friend who have left town for somewhere sunnier. He doesn’t drink it anyway. It was very relaxed actually. I suppose Moses and Theodor Junior aren’t the kind of bears anymore who are totally up for great wild parties.

We talked a lot sipping away on our drinks and slipping away from our cognitive abilities. Lot of talk on shamanic practices, the neo-pagan movement, which by the way most bears have a low opinion on and somehow we even got into politics. I lost track of topics and arguments after a while. In fact I lost track of pretty much everything after a while and by the time our humans were home we were out. Completely out.



We spent the day, the hangover sitting on the windowsill chilling, looking out and trying not to move. Head still hurts a bit.

We planning on staying up tonight and have some other kind of celebration. This I believe is more appropriate considering tonight is the shortest night anyway. One thing I don’t understand however and that is the general name in many countries, especially ones with an appropriate Catholic history. Even Finland calls midsummer something like St John the Baptist day (Johannus). We have been speculating about this but haven’t come up with anything useful. I think. Moses maybe has had some great ideas but we forgotten most of them. Can only recall everyone going ‘oh yeah!’ and ‘AHA’ when he explained. Oh well.


An advice to all is to take celebrations without overindulging in anything. A beer for a bear is enough.

Learning

It was a smashingly interesting day yesterday. Well, not only yesterday but that is the first thing in my head right now. I went to work with Gabor. He took me around for the day and I got to learn all about cleaning. It was fascinating. Although having the day to think about the experience I realise that I am lucky that I don’t have to go to work with him or just go to work myself even every day. Cleaning saunas, stairs and laundry rooms day after day probably is boring. I understand now why he is so so keen on his upcoming holiday and why he is so much looking forward to start at uni. Both will be welcome changes from his work. Especially that he hasn’t chosen cleaning as his career. It’s just a way to make ends meet. I wonder though if there is anyone in the world who being a child dreams of becoming a cleaner? Probably not.

I started reading an interesting book; it’s called 9 to 5 Shaman. I know some about shamanism since Gabor told me that along with Moses and Ted I do have a shamanic role. He hasn’t specified this as yet to me and I think I am starting to understand why. He is expecting me to ask questions on the topic or generally on anything that I am interested in. He will teach whatever is needed and whatever he can as long as there is listening intent. There is plenty of interest on bears’ role in the family from my side but he is holding back telling me about it. I think maybe he would think first I should find things out for myself. I’m fine with that for now.

This book however that I started on troubles me a bit to begin with. I picked it up because all other books on the topic are used by either Jen or Gabor now and whenever I get the chance to get to the computer I need to check up on my facebook account so I don’t have the chance to research on the net. Anyway, so far my understanding is that shamanic thinking, world view is a rather practical one and this book – by the title – at first seemed to be an even more practical explanation but then the author keeps telling about, referring to some great spirit or god type character. I find it odd. I suspect she is some sort of neo-pagan and that’s why even writing a practical guide to urban shamanic practice she refers so much to something that is actually irrelevant to the topic. Oh well.

But it is time I write about arriving to Oulu where I reside with my human family.

We all knew that this final stretch of the journey in the truck was fairly short in comparison to the two journeys on boat coming to Finland yet it still felt infinitely long. We were nearly there, nearly and much nervous talk and joking lingered in the air yet they didn’t make time fly any quicker.

After some long time that felt like 3 or 4 separate eternities but at least hundreds of eons something happened. Recalling the event I believe that our truck must have just narrowly avoided a road accident. Our box fell down and got even more bashed and torn. I fell out and ended up lying close, too close to the door. I haven’t realised yet that I can make use of my arms and legs so I just lay there motionless very, very concerned.

In a little while the truck stopped and the driver came to the back. Opening the door he carefully examined the thrown about boxes, probably swore some under his nose but my Finnish fortunately isn’t good enough to know for sure and he slammed the door shut. We listened to his steps quieting as he moved to the front, the driver’s door opening and shut again. We started moving and the door swung open! As we turned back on to the road I rolled towards the opening and at the first bump I rolled out form the carriage and would have fallen on the ground but some instinct helped me to catch after something, anything.

I managed but couldn’t hold on and slid down. I fell again and caught on to another part of the vehicle much closer to the road and the wheels now. I was too far from the door to climb back. Within a minute we stopped again, at this time on the side of the road instead of a service station. The driver quickly closed the door where I fell out, he didn’t hear my shouting because of the oncoming traffic. I didn’t know how much longer before Oulu and I didn’t know if my arms could hold till we get there. I’ve started crying.

The truth about babies

Our container has been shipped to a redistribution centre somewhere around Helsinki. It was opened and our boxes begun to be moved onto trucks to head towards shops all around the country. Our box was dropped and cracked open, it was unnerving. I felt I begun slowly sliding out from my box an became extremely concerned that I would get lost or damaged in transport and never get to a shop, never to be bought by a family with little babies...

I didn’t know at the time that one day I could be happy should such an opportunity arise. I know now that 24/7 baby care is not something that I would be happy to do.
We have been visiting again little Alma and her family on Friday. The day Gabor stayed home because the dentist decided his wisdom tooth must be removed. I went with Lili and Jen instead of staying home. He was going to watch some crazy TV show dosed up on painkillers. Didn’t seem like a particularly fun evening for me so I acted as if I had been pressured into going and happily jumped into the bag with Ted and Moses.

Babies are fun. And I have written about how nice it is to hang out with them. But it is also nice not having to hang out with them all the time! Maybe I am too young for such things. I can picture how Ted after spending many years exploring Spain, writing books full of ethnographic recounts on rural life may have been happy to be picked up by a three years old girl just to hang out and take it relatively easy for the years to follow. I understand Moses wanting to rest and help caring for Lili as a retirement option finishing his adventurous travels in South America and Siberia. I suspect a similar motive from Eirwen. I hear she has been working with a charity helping out polar bears. An ever more needed work these days.

I am not quite ready for giving up a lifestyle, a career and all for a baby when I haven’t had enough experience myself. How could I possibly teach him anything anyway? And how much work it would take! 24/7! Can you imagine? I think I am too young for such. I like my life better now. Hanging out with the oldies and this family, just sort of being part of everything a little bit but never having to watch over someone overnight, never having to do the dishes... I prefer it that way. Of course, it took me these last couple of months to realise this and I would like to thank you all who helped me to it. I still remember too clearly the moments coming into Oulu. Disappointment and exasperation.

At the ‘gate’ of Europe

By the time the ship was manoeuvring through the English Channel talk got around that our destination is Hamburg, Germany. A more important information was released somewhere in the back of the container as well, it seems that some were very well informed for they knew that we all were toys and would be given to children as presents. We bears eventually received some special attention while more information about our faith was revealed.

Bears, it was said are special toy for kids. Every child in Europe has a special bear from birth and while some bears meet their child in curious circumstances many or maybe even most get one from a toy shop. We were all going to toy shops to be sold and given to kids. Excited talks begun about the kind of child, family bears wanted to be in.

Many were hoping for a wealthy or upper middle class family in afluential neighbourhood with a nice garden and well trained children. Others were hoping for a child from a working class neighbourhood who would value his bear forever. I thought both groups were over idealizing the potentials of reality while occasionally subtly hinting about it in public. But secretly I just hoped to find a home where I can be happy and loved. At the time I wasn’t aware of the moments of horror that I still have had ahead of me before meeting my family. And none of us was aware that Hamburg wasn’t our destination but a hub only where our container rested for a few days before moved on towards Helsinki.

Sleepover

I have had a wonderful weekend! A most wonderful for that. I wanted to write about it before but I rarely get to the computer over the weekends, even if Gabor spends much of it painting Lili’s room. Anyway, Moses mentioned I should enjoy, I should really enjoy hanging out with Jen’s tummy for my time will be up. The coming baby will be assigned to another bear. So I do enjoy every moment while in my adventures around the house and Oulu I’ve learnt a wonderful truth: It doesn’t matter if one has his own child to take care of, to comfort and to be torn apart by because one can always meet new faces and become a momentary bear for anyone.

Lili went on a sleepover on Friday night, her mum and dad went to the theatre. Lili decided that I could go with her. It was very kind. Very, very kind. Alma is only about 10 months old, she isn’t quite the toddler yet and she thought it was cool to have me around. She even sucked a bit on my ear and nearly tore of my left arm. It was – and I can only find that same word again – Wonderful. I had tears in my eyes. Sort of. And my arm is ok now as well, Theodor knows a bit about chiropractics and sorted things out.

I also met one of my readers, Alma’s mother. She was happy to meet me and I appreciate the encouragement: write on! I can only ask you and others in return: read on!

About a month or so ago Jen and Gabor became suspicious that there is more than one child inside her tummy. They suspected that on the midwife’s ideas that Jen’s belly is growing faster or bigger than it should be. I didn’t mention about it before because I didn’t want things to get out of hand. There was an element of hope for me you know. They were joking a lot about having twins, lots of crazy and idiotic jokes warming themselves to such possibility but it was all unfounded. An ultrasound last Friday showed that there is only one. A big one though but one. This has crashed my secret hopes but as I worked hard not to get my expectations high I can handle it I think.

Should they have twins, I could become a baby’s bear... Well, I got Gabor instead but Jen jokingly assured me he is good as a child. However I sensed an element of certainty in her voice.

Daycare

Finally, It seemed he was just not gonna give up this machine. He went to town today to hang out with some folk and try to get paper that’s lighter than 80g in a square meter for folding paper planes. That’s their new hobby with Lili. She is pretty good at it I must say already having learnt to fold a design pretty much all by herself. It’s fun to throw them off the balcony when the weather isn’t windy. Moses went out with them the other day and he spent quite some time outside after that. Sunny days.
I have been out yesterday too. Lili took me to day care! Man, it was a nice day. The other kids didn’t care much about me. I’m just a bear. Nothing Special. But we know better. I am the bear who never had his own child. Unless of course we count Gabor.
She took me to have lunch with her which at first I thought was a really great idea but then I realised that maybe the food they feed kids in institutions is not what a bear likes most. It was probablt healthy and balanced I just didn’t like it. She still forced some down though. That’s the rule at home too. Meals are to be eaten. (unless it’s a rushed evening and food came from the freezer – junk can be left on the plate)
After lunch I slept like a baby. Really. I don’t think Lili did, she told me she never really sleeps at day care, instead she lies bored for nearly an hour. Her choice. We made some crafts later on and she coloured in some flowers for me. I had to hide those from Gabor as he isn’t fun of colouring in. It was nice when he came to pick us up. We have had a nice day.
I ‘m just realising I still owe you dear reader in the rest of the story, as we were nearing Europe...
Maybe some other day I tell you, now I think I need to go. Moses can’t find Little Ted. He gets lost easily especially when near or in the dolls’ box. It’s pink. Sorry, I am not really fond of pink. Whatever. Anyway, from now on I will have to refer to LT (Little Ted) as Theodor Junior. It’s some kind of old bear young bear thingy. No one else has to call him that. But I guess he is old. I mean if Moses is old, LT or Theodor Junior is – as some of Jen’s classmates think of Gabor – ancient!

Morning

To the hell with Moses. No! That’s too strong, this is not what I mean. To hell whith what he said, that I should write about my history because that’s the interesting part of my life. I disagree. Take yesterday morning for instance:
I woke in the bed at first not knowing where I was. Usually I don’t sleep in the bed. That’s only for those special ones who are associated with children. Normally I sleep out in the living room in Gabor’s arm chair or somewhere forgotten in a corner. I don’t mind either although I think it is special to keep in Gabor’s chair, keeping it warm for him reading the news when he gets up and his eyes are still too sleepy to focus on the screen. And yes, it is His armchair although he doesn’t publicly admit to it but makes annoyed faces if he finds sitting there anyone but me.
But last morning I woke in the bed. Lili was there as well and I stayed, enjoying listening to all their snoring. Eventually one by one Lili then Gabor got up and I stayed playing with Jen and ‘Itchy’ the growing one inside her belly. I was sitting on top and he tried to bounce me off but I think he might be still too small. Or I am still too heavy even if my nature is fluffy.

getting over the unexpected shyness

I got a stage fright I realized a few days back. It’s terrible. I thought I was really up for this and yet I find all kind of excuses why I haven’t the time to sit down and write again. At some point I even tried to tidy up Lili’s room but that came to disaster. There seem to be entire universes on the 12 square meters and got lost among them for days completely loosing track of time and space till eventually I even lost track of myself. Moses fished me out from a doll party to which I have no recollection of getting to. Then he abruptly threw me out of the room and thanks to the super massive triple glaze window in the living room I didn’t end up flying all the way out to the playground. And maybe also thanks to my soft nature.

He is a very interesting person, for a bear. I think he is really cool and kind although with me he always seems to be the grumpy old guy. I guess it is a role he assumes over younger ones. Or just some younger ones… or maybe he feels threatened by me? Don’t know. Anyway, I think his constant mocking doesn’t help. But he is out today so it feels nice to write here. Gabor told me I can use the computer any time I wish. Take is he isn’t using it or about to be.

My life story! Moses told me I should stick with that. So be it.

My Life!

It all has begun very small I think. My first memory, and here I don’t mean the first thing that I can remember but sincerely the first thing that I remember. As far I know there was nothing before he picked me up and stared into my face for a whole 2 seconds before he turned me over a few times and did a whole bunch of other things, some of it was unpleasant. I didn’t mind though because that look was enlightening. He reached into my soul and I believe made something happen to me that I will always carry within. I was deemed perfect in those 2 seconds, in that moment when our eyes met.

The smartypants in the box at the end of the conveyer belt already said that he looked that way at everyone while we were waiting to be moved and boxed neatly for shipment. They weren’t there when I was. It wasn’t just quality control. I think the guy liked me for what I am. A toy. A bear. I think for a moment he wondered if he should take me home, give me to his little sister. Lots said since I am reading too much into an appreciating look. Maybe I do. But I love being so sentimental.

Eventually we were boxed and got a lift over to the harbor where we were loaded into containers with a whole bunch of other things like some talking dinosaurs who taught me English on the journey. Being loaded on the cargo ship was somehow exciting and oddly comforting, to know that our container was neatly packed among a thousand others shipping an amazing array of items to Europe. We left Shanghai sometimes in September if my memory is correct but it would be hard to say from inside a box.
Europe waited for me.

first entry

My name is Lenard and I will write about my life. It all began on a sunny afternoon a couple of days back. Not my life of course but when inspiration took hold of me to write. It was a pretty day just us many seem to be now that finally it is May and the snow have melted all around us. I finished reading Tobi Blog coming to terms with the fact that there are dragons, real ones not only toys that came out of a container shipped from China. Vow! There is a certain something about toy dragons coming from China now, isn’t there? Because dragons are from China. Supposedly. But this is stupid of course. I know now that Dragons really are from Vietnam. Just like Tobi and Elena. And reading about them I must admit that they aren’t as scary as I first thought they were. But I am blabbering here. Sorry about that. This whole writing a blog is just too exciting!

Moses really against it I certainly must admit that. He tells me that our kind shouldn’t be concerning itself with electronics at all but hey, there is a bit of a generation divide here. I learnt English from a talking and walking Dinosaur. Of course he wasn’t walking much at the time. Excessive packaging you know. However, it isn’t this conflict of generations that drives me to write. To be honest I don’t know what it is but when finishing reading about Tobi I just really wanted to share something about myself too. Gabor asked me why I don’t write a blog. And really? Why don’t I? But it isn’t a question anymore for here I am.

I live in Oulu and I like it so far. At first I was surprised; it didn’t feel right when I arrived. It was mid March, cold and everything was covered with the white staff that is snow, I learnt. I came to dislike it quickly when it started to melt a couple weeks after I arrived. It always froze over the night and quickly packed tight and became useless. But at first it was fun and what was more amazing is that I got to spend some time outside with Lili, this amazing little girl who tried, still tries to adopt me and treats me like her own. We had some good times back then. It feels it was a very long time ago.

Looking out the window, straining my eyes I noticed the bushes nearby look different today. They appeared to have grown some sort of sparkly green net around themselves. Sneaking outside when nobody was paying attention I took a closer look and realized that the green dots weren’t so sparkly, only my eyes were cheating me from the distance, seeing a colour I haven’t seen for some time and they aren’t a net but extensions of the branches. Moses was laughing at me for not knowing what’s going on. Those little green somethings are sprouts that will soon burst into wonderful green leaves. This is spring. I think I’m gonna like it. Gabor tells me that since most of the snow melted some traditional locals /people who grew up around here, as opposed to people who haven’t, they, us are called locals/ started calling it summer. Apparently it’s some sort of defence mechanism of the psyche, just in case this is how far the advance of warmth would get. 10Celsius plus, clouds and occasional rain. If it doesn’t get any better they won’t be disappointed calling it summer to start off. They told me, a great choir of three people, Moses and a bunch of other whiny creatures, that last summer it didn’t get any better. Sounds depressing doesn’t it?

I am hopeful though, spring just does that